|
Excerpt from: Making it in the Motor City: Emerging Adulthood in
Michigan Debra M. Hernandez, Jozefowicz-Simbeni, Brian Madden,
Nathaniel Israel
[Full working paper ... coming soon]
[Printer-friendly
version]
The Mother Identity
Women and men moved differently through the transition to adulthood,
including differences in timing, type, and intensity of role transitions
and involvement. For instance, women in the study often left the family
home to assume partner or parenting roles, whereas young men left home
more often solely for work and job roles. Further, many of the women
who became mothers moved more quickly and intensively into the mother
role, while young fathers focused more on work to support the family
and be the economic provider. Consistent with these traditional gender
roles, young women’s lives were very focused on the day-to-day
aspects of parenting, household duties, and activities in the community
involving their children (e.g., volunteering at school).
As this 30-year-old white female reveals, her identity as a mother
is paramount, and her comments reveal how her personal values, goals,
and definitions of success help her to prioritize her life pursuits,
such as work and money versus children. The conflicting pursuit of
money versus children is more pronounced for the women than the men
in our Michigan sample.
I: What would your life be like now if you never had children?
R: God, boring. I would still be doing the same thing. I would be
making more money. Those positions now make more money than I did
when I was around but maybe not much changes in two years.
R: But I would still be working and I would still be doing all the
same stuff, still hanging out with all my friends but I think I would
be really unsatisfied because I always wanted kids. I think if by
thirty I didn't have them, I would feel like an utter failure.
This quote highlights not only her investment in a maternal identity
in contrast to a career identity, but also her disappointment had she
not had children by age 30. Indeed, many of young adults in the Michigan
sample used the age of 30 as a marker for achieving adult goals, and
when these goals were not met, they expressed some regret and frustration.
In the face of a declining working class and the current need for higher
education to be self-sufficient, many of the young women and men in
the present study expressed frustration and regret regarding their
pursuit, or lack thereof, of a college degree.
Getting an Education
One of the biggest regrets for many of our young adults was their
lack of education. Many expressed regret that their family did not
have the resources to put them through school or that their families
never encouraged them to achieve. They also regretted their own lack
of motivation and application, and many wished they had made a clearer
commitment and followed through on higher education. Most of our participants
said that education was not stressed when they were growing up, and
many of them believed they could have achieved more had their parents
motivated them to do better in school. This lack of motivation and
focus extended into early adulthood. Of those who went to college,
many could not decide on a major and this, along with other distractions
such as raising children or working, led them to drop out.
Lack of Parent Instrumental Support— One young
white male expressed regret and some resentment about the lack of financial
support from his parents and a teacher who gave him a grade that he
believed forced him to take a different path to college:
R: You know in college my parents didn't help me at all financially
and I blamed them for everything and was very bitter.
I: Because they couldn't help financially?
R: Right. They couldn't. My thoughts then were that they wouldn't.
You know, come on. I was surrounded by people whose parents paid
for everything and I wanted more than anything to go to this certain
college after high school. I was first in my class up until the last
semester when this terrible English teacher gave me an A minus and
so I ended up dropping to third. I still hate her. She robbed me
of Valedictorian which might have led to more scholarships to go
to that college. I ended up with a full scholarship to go to a different
college.
Lack of Emotional and Motivational Support —Another
young white male talked about the lack of encouragement also expressed
by a number of young adults whose parents did not attend college themselves:
In my education, personally I feel like I didn't have support. I
didn't...well I needed the finances but I didn't ask for that. I
just wanted them to be happy that I was going to school. And I don't
feel that I got that.
Disincentives for a Working Class Life
Although a number of the participant’s in Michigan struggled
with higher education, others successfully attained a college degree
that led to a professional occupation. Often, this was motivated by
the experience of family members’ difficulties in work and financial
hardship associated with manufacturing jobs. A young man who was a
lawyer expressed such a sentiment when talking about his father:
He [dad] worked in a factory. Neither of my parents is educated
beyond high school. We never had a lot of money and my dad was just,
you know, I thought he was an alcoholic. I don't know if that is
the case anymore. But he had to work so many hours and I think it's
a terrible life working in the factory and that' s what he did. You
know, twelve hours a day. When the auto companies suffered, he was
doing odd jobs, working at the gas station or whatever. We just didn't
relate to one another at all.
Success is in the Eye of the Beholder
Although many of the young adults pursued or desired a college education,
many others had no interest in or intent to go to college and were
successfully engaged in other life pursuits, such as work and family.
As a result, most of the young adults in Michigan agreed that success
is individually defined and varies by person. One young white female
conveyed this as follows:
I How would you define success for someone your age?
R Being happy with what you are. What you have. I mean I'm happy
being a mom. Somebody else might graduating from college and making
this much money. Not me. I'm happy being a mom. That's success to
me. Having kids that are happy.
In summary, the 30-year-old young adults making it in Michigan reflected
on the struggles and successes that led to their present lives. Their
pursuits and achievements were defined by their ecological niche, families
of origin, life experiences, and individual identities. Although themes
of regret and resentment emerged around some aspects of life, most
of the young adults expressed happiness in their life situation. At
age 30, this included a focus on career, family, or both. For those
who had not achieved conventional markers of adulthood, particularly
moving out of their parents’ home, they felt a strong push and
motivation at this time of life to do so.
top
|