Are Young Adults Afraid to Leave the Nest?

Frank Furstenberg

There is a lot of talk these days in the popular press about the apparent unwillingness of young adults to cut the apron strings and leave home. The story line favored by many commentators is that the current generation has been so indulged by their parents that they are becoming dependent on a family welfare system where they feel entitled to remain at home and draw allowances from their parents indefinitely. And their parents, in turn, are incapable of giving them the gentle shove they so badly need to go out on their own.

Curiously enough, there is simply no evidence to substantiate the claim that young people in their late teens or twenties are more likely to remain at home today than they did in the past once we account for their marital status. Over the past several decades, the marriage rates of 18–34 year olds have been falling, mainly because youth are delaying marriage longer than they did a generation or two ago, not eschewing it. Because single people have always been far more likely to live with their parents than their married counterparts, more young adults are living at home today. Yet, even given that, young adults are still far less likely to live with their parents today than in the past. Using historical information from the decennial census, authors of a recent report in the American Sociological Review report that the proportion of young people aged 20–29 are about half as likely to live with their parents today than they were in the post-war period of the 1940s and 1950s. So the proportion of single youth who remain at home has been dropping at the same time that more young adults are single, creating the appearance that young adults have a greater taste for living with their parents.

Evidence is mounting that young adults are not remaining single so that they can mooch off their parents. They are deferring marriage because these days it takes much longer to acquire the requisite schooling and job experience to obtain a well paid job. And most say that they are unwilling to enter marriage without having a career and stable employment. That’s not such a bad thing.

In the meantime, many do look to their family for help during the transition to adulthood. Of course, they would be less likely to do so if government support for education were still at the level it was in the 1950s and 1960s, if housing costs had not risen to unparalleled highs, and if well paying jobs were more readily available to young people. As a result of these rising costs and demands, parents are increasingly called on to help out, offering room and board, help with tuition, or other supplements to help launch their offspring. Contrary to popular images, young adults are also doing their fair share. The overwhelming majority are working, often at low-paying jobs, or they are in school full-time. Many are juggling jobs and education to help pay for school.

Perhaps the public ought to lend more of a hand. But tell that to taxpayers who are reluctant to provide more money for educational grants, health insurance, or housing subsidies for young adults. Short of giving more tangible assistance to young adults and their families, it is time to stop berating young adults for not growing up faster or criticizing their parents for helping them through a more difficult transition to adulthood. Instead, we should take solace in the fact that the family is alive and well in America today.

Frank Furstenberg, Zellerbach Family Chair of Sociology at the University of Pennsylvania, heads the MacArthur Research Network on Transitions to Adulthood and is co-editor of On the Frontier of Adulthood (University of Chicago Press, 2005).